20 years in Asia

I left England two decades ago today. The 12th of June 2006. The Shetlands dissolving on a bleak southern horizon represented both a solemn farewell to Blighty and a rapturous jump into the unknown. The old life vanishing in the wake as we steamed north, towards the Arctic, smiling.

32 then, 52 now. I didn't plan it, it just happened. Let's take a peek through the murky telescope of history. I'll keep it brief.

2006 Arctic Circle

2006. Began with a £1 megabus from Newcastle to Aberdeen followed by boats to Lerwick, Tórshavn and Seydisfjördur. Looking back at Iceland's north coast from a tiny island on the Arctic Circle felt like the edge of the world.

I sailed on to Denmark/Sweden and across the Baltic to Lithuania where buses took me to Latvia and Estonia. I boarded the Trans-Siberian in St Petersburg for a three week train journey through Russia, Mongolia and China. A ferry to Japan ticked off a lifelong goal of traveling from Newcastle to Hiroshima without flying. Epic.

That took three months. Korea, Kunming, Chiang Mai, Tibet, Hong Kong and the Philippines took me to the new year.

2007 Myanmar

2007. Started in Singapore. The jungles of Borneo were followed by a massive land journey through Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Myanmar and Indonesia.

After 15 months of non-stop travel I craved stability so began teaching English in Taipei. It didn't last long as I moved to Tainan to live with a girlfriend in December. I studied Mandarin and was able to cobble a few sentences together before long.

2008 Taiwan

2008. Restless, I binned Taiwan in June and spent two months up to no good in the Philippines. I saw the Princess of the Stars ferry steam into a typhoon before sinking and losing 800 souls.

August was spent trekking in Malaysia's Cameron Highlands followed by a month swimming with turtles off the Perhentian Islands. Two months on KoPhaNgan were followed by a month in Cambodian chicken farms.

2009 Trang

2009. Celebrated new year within earshot of bombs exploding in a seedy Thai/Malay border town - Army everywhere. Based myself in Islamic Kota Bharu while searching for work in China.

Returned to the Philippines to spend Valentines with the angels of Angeles. China fell through so I went to Thailand instead, teaching maths in Trang. Moved in with a local lass and bought a Honda Phantom, beginning a decade-long love affair with motorbikes and Thailand.

2010 Phuket

2010. Moved from Trang to Phuket and stumbled into "international" teaching. Precious beer money (~£3k) was reluctantly diverted to a PGCE once I'd decided that teaching was the only realistic way of staying in the tropics.

This was a rough year as, in addition to full time work and evening study, I had a motorbike crash, dengue (twice) and a violent (but hot) girlfriend.

2011 Koh Phi Phi

2011. Was spent drinking/shagging in Chalong. Barry Payne convinced me to invest my entire life savings in what would turn out to be a scam.

Was seeing a Uni student which made a refreshing change from hookers. Never really jived with Phuket and regretted staying a second year .... so binned it.

2012 Pattaya

2012. Started with a 10 day silent meditation retreat at WatSuanMok. Followed by a 7,500km motorbike trip around the whole of Thailand, finishing with three months in Pattaya.

Moved to Bangkok in July - quickly learning I'm no city slicker. I'd been on/off with the Phuket lass and she ended up terminating a pregnancy here. Sad episode.

2013 Bangkok

2013. Exchanged the Phantom for a CBR250. Retired in July (at 39) and set off on a 11,000km bike trip from Bangkok to Singapore to China.

Finished up in Chiang Mai and wasted no time shacking up with a new lass and exploring the north of Thailand on two wheels - living the dream - free at 40.

2014 Chiang Mai

2014. Spent February getting an ED-visa in Cambodia. However, by July it was clear my life savings had been stolen and my capital reduced to a solitary motorbike - freedom lasting a measly year.

I left the gf, no longer able to pay the piper. Picked up some part-time work in a nearby school and tutored on weekends. Watched every CMFC home game, continued the bike trips, hugely improved my Thai and ran the CM half-marathon in 1h59m. Totally skint at 41.

2015 Nepal

2015. March was spent trekking in Nepal. Started full-time work in May - a bitter pill to swallow - the final nail in the early retirement coffin. Began rebuilding the nest egg from scratch.

Flew to Surat Thani to stay at Lut's DonSak beach house in June. Enjoyed more epic bike trips, drowned my sorrows at Nui's shop and ran a second CM half-marathon in 1h48m.

2016 Chiang Mai

2016. Moved in with a hill tribe girl in January - loved visiting her family's off-grid village. She never once complained on the back of the CBR250 to Umphang, Isaan and Pattaya.

Quit the job in September after a disagreement - underscoring the importance of FU money. Enjoyed a 5 month break but was sad to see the relationship fizzle out once I'd secured work in China. Decided she'd be the final one - full monk at 43.

2017 China

2017. Painful to leave Chiang Mai after 3 years - the longest I'd lived anywhere. Flew to Xian in March primarily to stack cash - an easier task with double the salary, a free apartment and no girlfriend. I'd begun to take the goal of early retirement 2.0 (ER2) seriously.

Wrote a short novel - Hill Tribe Love. Returned to Thailand in September - this time Hat Yai in the deep south. Was great to be back - riding scooters around the boonies and speaking Thai again. I'd accrued enough capital to open a brokerage account - virgin investor at 44.

2018 HatYai

2018. Full-time employment drudgery in Hat Yai. Working hard, living frugally and investing the excess. Capriciously spaffed $7,000 on a CBR500 in March - impairing ER2 - but worth it looking back. Rode it 7,000km around Thailand in July - class.

Enjoyed shooting-the-shit in Paul's garden before finally quitting both drinking/smoking after 30 years of abuse. No gimmicks, just cold turkey and will power. Teetotal non-smoking monk at 45.

2019 Thailand

2019. Spent a week in England after 13 years away. Reverse culture shock. Sadly both parents had passed since leaving. Flew back to Bangers on a A380.

Had a week in Pattaya before moving to rural Chiang Mai in July. Enjoyed weekly massages and northern bike trips before quitting work, selling the bike and fleeing to Cambodia in November after a decade in Thailand.

2020 Battambang

2020. Happily chilling in sleepy Battambang, teaching online for $400/month, when the markets tanked in March, prompting a panic-application for a job in nearby Saigon.

In July I flew from Cambodia to Vietnam .... via Korea. Why? Covid insanity. A three week quarantine at Vinpearl Resort PhuQuoc was followed by a two year grind.

2021 Saigon, Vietnam

2021. Full-time corporate slave with a laser-focus on capital accrual, asset management and freedom. A cheap windowless room, a rusty bicycle and endless lockdowns were my lot. Dreams of ER2, anywhere but here, were my comfort blanket.

There was a brief respite in September when work flew us to PhuQuoc, dressed as covid-nauts, to stay in luxury chalets on a tropical beach where we worked online - fair play.

2022 Cambodia

2022. Reconnaissance trip in June. The ER2 feasibility report concluded that Kampot was sufficiently sabai. Organised a visa, banking, accommodation and a bicycle before returning to Vietnam, briefly, to pull the plug.

And thus began ER2@48. Had I learnt any lessons from the catastrophic failure of ER1@39? Time will tell. The first few months were spent decompressing after two years of Saigon stress. Peace, nature and star gazing rejuvenated the soul, though time-sovereignty was the real prize.

It wasn't all unicorns and rainbows. The 2022 bear market forced significant austerity from the outset. Luckily, a Pumphouse neighbour was in a similar boat so we formed a dual-node skint support network. Grateful to muddle through it and avoid having to look for work - was touch and go.

2023 Pool Team

2023. Began in isolation. Self-imposed solitary confinement. Sealed off from worldly concerns for six weeks. Time lost meaning as I melted into a hammock for days on end - physical reality lost to the dimensionless silence within. I underwent what can only be described as a profound spiritual transformation - an ongoing journey.

Later joined a pool league before shaving off an atrocious mullet experiment. Never left Kampot in 2023 - didn't need to.

2024 Kampot

2024. Life was somehow different now. Effortless. Moved rooms and began consuming ... mattresses, fridges and even an old scooter after 5 years on bicycles. Transient asceticism giving way to stable comfort.

A healthier diet ensued after learning how to cook on youtube. Left Kampot for the first time in two years to visit Koh Rong. Returned to Thailand in November to renew a Teaching Licence after a 5 year hiatus. Markets flipped from cruel to kind - resulting in some welcome belt loosening.

2025 Kampot

2025. Returned to Cambodia in January. Quit the pool league, hired a Khmer language teacher and continued to reach new milestones in the gym.

The Toon won their first trophy in 7 decades - a clear signal to cash in some chips and move back to Thailand. A new CBR500 was the perfect birthday present and being back in the saddle - after a 6 year break - was a dream come true.

2026 Chiang Rai

2026. Brings us to the present. A retirement visa, a motorbike and Chiang Rai's endless twisties. You won't hear many complaints from AWOL.

However, as I scan the rice paddies from the balcony, the mind can't help but reflect on uncertainty, path-dependency, choices and luck. Was it all cosmically pre-ordained? Was I steering the ship at all? Or more like dust in wind? Doubt I'll ever know.

Thoughts invariably drift to all the other souls encountered along the way. An eclectic mix from all corners of the globe. Each with their own dreams, talents and constraints. Sadly, more than a few no longer with us - but plenty still around too - and if you're one of them, what a ride eh?

Closing.

So:

• 11 years in Thailand
• 4 years in Cambodia
• 2 years in Vietnam
• 3 years spread among the rest

Two decades. A thousand words. The only regret is not leaving earlier. Would I do it all again? Fuck aye.

“It's better to walk alone than to walk with a fool” - Buddha